As many of you know, Robert has a great love for his grandparents. Sadly, Grandpa passed away on Saturday, May 12. I thought I'd share the eulogy that Robert wrote and presented.
-Grandpa-
Perhaps one
of my favorite memories growing up was sitting out on the front porch of the
Isla Verde house with Grandpa watching the stars and talking about "el
luna", as he called it. He would sip on his rum and coke and I would mimic
his every move with my Malta or Coco Rico which Abuela always kept readily
available. I loved this memory! Well, that and him yelling "God damn
it!" at us whenever we were being completely obnoxious as three boys
growing up would always be.
To me,
Grandpa epitomized the American spirit. In many ways he was America. He was an
ideologue set in his ways and completely convinced that, should everyone think
and act like him, the world would be a better place. So, he set out to do just
that.
He was the
type of person who naively believed nothing but the best in humanity and the
deep rooted “good” in everyone and was recalcitrant to find in them any real
faults or flaws. At the same time, he was wise enough to appreciate and
celebrate differences in cultures and human beings. He would work to fit himself in to the way of
life of the many different cities and countries he would inhabit.
He reveled
in stories of hardships, hard work, overcoming struggles, and childhood
triumphs which only solidified those very values he admired and expected in
others. Perhaps the same struggles he was forced to overcome
eventually shaped him to be the intelligent, intensely hard-working, no holds
barred, gruff, for the greater good, father knows best, pick yourself up by
your bootstraps, man of action not words I remember him as. So entrenched, he
was, in these strengths and virtues that he was unable or unwilling to accept
any less than this same tenacity for those beliefs and expected even more from
his own family.
His world
view was progressive believing in the human spirit and its innovation. A man
ahead of his time, commenting on how computers would shrink as time trudged on
and would one day allow us to communicate internationally way before the
presence of facebook or skype. Conversely, to interact with him was to walk
into HIS world as he was stubborn to accommodate the ever the changing ideals,
principles of the evolving world around him.
He loved and
lived routines and only the throes of time would be strong enough to break him
out of one routine only long enough to borne out another one. In Puerto Rico, he would barbecue on Sundays,
cook the Thanksgiving turkey while Abuela made the sides. In Cocoa, he would
walk to McDonald’s every morning to have his coffee. He would continue wearing
his pocket protector armed with a pen and a daily planner for years after he
had any real use or need of them.
As much as
he loved his routines, his friends, his America, he loved his family and, of
course, his wife. Ani. We should all be so lucky to have someone like Abuela to
help and support our aspirations and daily lives. Grandpa had many whims and
would change jobs frequently, continually aspiring to better positions and more
fulfilling obligations. Behind it all
was Abuela, never really questioning him. Just had dinner ready for him when he
got home and trusting that he would go at any length to ensure that his family
did not fall into the same adversities he endured when he was growing up.
He wasn’t
much the touchy feely guy. He didn’t really show much affection or express any
emotional sentiments. Not too many warm embraces or long hugs. Not too many
words or wisdom or motivational speeches. Personally, I never really noticed. I
heard “I love you” when he smiled at me or patiently listened to my stories,
waited till I got home so that we could eat together or said “All right, Kid”
to say goodbye. I felt a kiss on my cheek when he shook my hand, held one hand
up, patted my shoulder, or hugged me back when I initiated it.
So? How DO
you properly eulogize a man who was so constant but such a different man to
each of us? In the end, the answer is you don’t. So, here’s a medley of
memories that I hope will incite many more: barbecues in Isla Verde, tennis,
panaderia espana, computers, tennis, hats, Cornhuskers, Omaha, pocket
protectors, pens, daily planners, hero, covered wagons, bikes, beans and
ponies, turtles and injuns, US Army, glasses, cowboy movies, belt buckles,
walks, kidnapee, traveler. He was an American.
Proud. Brief. Precise. Virtuous.
As I said,
Grandpa wasn’t much a man of many words. And so, in his absence, I’ll be so
bold and dare to make a small sentiment on his behalf. To Susan, who comes once a year to be with
Abuela and Grandpa, Thank you. To Mom, who has dedicated her life to ensure
that Abuela and Grandpa have nothing but the best quality of life, on behalf of
the extended family, and on behalf of Grandpa, Thank you. Thank you so much for
doing such an amazing and selfless job. We should all be so lucky to have
someone like you to care for us in OUR last years on this earth. There’s very
little chance he said this enough, but I’m sure he would join me in saying, I
love you. I love you all.
